At A Moments Notice...

You changed me, and the way I felt about men | I was just so disgusted, cause the one I loved I couldn?t trust him | And you told me, that if I never been hurt I would not know what happiness is | And just how good it feels...

This morning I awoke to the words: "Happy Anniversary baby...it's been 2 years and 10 months, can you believe it?" We've always counted our anniversaries, but with so much going on nowadays: the book, our recent move, and just about anything else that seems to pop-up out of nowhere, I had almost forgotten just how significant this anniversary is. That is until Lil' Mo reminded me.

On her new album, Meet The Girl Next Door, Miss Mo comes into herself. On track after track she delivers ghetto-worthy stories of love, both lost and found. Unlike her other counter-parts (Brandy, Monica, etc), Mo is not afraid to take her songs and flood them with the kind of emotion you only find in songs of yester-year. Each song practically takes you there, to that place you never want to go in public: Tears. But you know what, I'm not afraid to admit she damn' near took me there quite a few times today.

I opened this blog with words from her tune "Doing Me Wrong", written and produced by Missy Elliot. This song took me back three years, way before me and my boy hooked up. Back when falling in love was actually me, falling into a vicious cycle of love, hate, love: oh my God why am I here again, why am I hurting, why am I staying? Why me, why me, why me?

I had had so many horrible run-ins with the wrong cats I honestly believed love, that shit that comes in and salves all of your worries, would never make its way into my life...into my heart...

I was scared to give you all of me | Cause my last love he left me helplessly | And like a bird without his wings, I was just sitting around...

And then one day, shit happened. I woke up and was like: "Yo, I'm in love...and it doesn't hurt..." That's when I knew I had some good shit. That shit I had always dreamed of having. That shit, that if it ended today, I would have no regrets because my love was/is at that place where dreams are real, so real you can actually touch 'em---you know what I'm sayin'? That good shit...

For years I thought no amount of words could express the feeling of euphoria one gets when confronted with some of lifes greatest joys. For years I thought I would have to make due with what little nouns/verbs/or adjectives I could come up with until I happened upon the language that fully expressed the inner workings of the heart. I thought that day would never come. But *breaths a sigh of relief*, it has...

Speak Mo:

Yes I was so afraid | Going through the same thing again, baby | I hated to fall in love, 'cause I been through so many things I can't name | Same type, same thing, same game | But you showed me not to block my heart from every man that came [walking] up to me | Cause you were the right one for me

I was scared to give you all of me | Cause my last love he left me helplessly | And like a bird without his wings I was just sitting around...

I never thought I would ever find love this good | I had no trust at all cause every man but you had did me wrong | So, here?s a wonderful thing since I let go of my past loves | I'm glad I gave you a chance to show me you?re a good man...

Thank you baby, for being who you are, and for loving me even though, and even still...

"Thank you Missy for writing this song, 'cause I remember when I used to be sitting around, looking all crazy, lookin' for love, but now I've found it, and it feels so good..."

And thank you Mo for reminding me just how good my love is...